the Reason...

So, I've been aware there are certain individuals that come in and out of our lives for a reason. It could be for a nano second in time or it could be for most of our lifetime. Whatever the case, I'm fortunate and blessed for the moments we each have with one another. But when it comes to something that has become a bit more significant as life progresses it suggests the self to do some true-blue soul searching. My head probably hurts from all the thinking I've had to do, but at the same time, you have to allow the self to evolve...don't fight the progression because it'll only delay where the mind, body and soul should be.

Although, it's not all about the self..in a sense it is. If you want someone to "stick around" to get to know you a bit longer, you have to present something of further than what's at the mere face value - which can always be a good starting point. It's like one of my 5th grade teachers, who would punish any of his students for their stupidity by hugging a chewing-gum filled tree and then on a good day write 50 - 100 sentences that started something like.."..responsibility starts with me and ends with me..". Meaning just like how good ole Mr. Moltane would put it, we must be accountable for our actions and ourselves. And as much as I occassionally didn't agree with my college softball coach's techniques..lol one of the more relevant things she tried to teach us were we can only "control..the controllable..".
..We control who and what environment we decide to marinate ourselves in. There was a reason these people were in my life and there was reason they said what they said - strongly urging notions.

Needless to say, I think it's incredibly vital for a human being to grow even if you know a different way of life..it's okay to do and try something different. But remember you control YOUR life. Others can influence, motivate, and even inspire just by being themselves..but ultimately it's your call in life. Thus far, my life has been full of ups and downs..all in some format - a blessing.

As I sit at the age of 25. I remember how I acted when I was younger. There were reasons I acted the way that I did and what are the lasting effects now, lol and how in the world can I work on these childhood moments so that I can progress in my adulthood, my womanhood (and what will god willing be a motherhood).
I've already done and said things that have shown I've subconciously developed and made (good) decisions without thinking twice about it. ha, almost where I have to question where the positivity and the urge to want to do "the right thing" comes from. I try not to question it anymore, I've accepted that's the growth I can't stop if it's for the better.

I try to surround myself around those that would prove the cliche saying to be at least somewhat true.. "you are the company you keep". I appreciate all of the folks from my past, from my present, and from what will be in my future. There will be certain individuals to bring and motivate perhaps a side of you that was willingly being supressed. Life truly is a party: some of those people you say a brief hello to while others decide to go around the party with you to meet others and have fun with you, then there's the person that'll say hi / talk a bit sparatically throughout the party. As much as I would like to keep in touch with everyone I've ever come in contact..some folks just operate on their own accord and you have to respect it.

Anyhoot, I appreciate everyone and all the moments we share as tomorrow nor later today are guaranteed. Love ya!

<3
JAM